how to handle insults

When feeling insulted by people, we can ask 3 questions.

1) is it true?

If the person insulting me has benevolent motive, or is known to not dislike me, then it is not an insult. It is a statement of fact.

If something is true and factual. I must accept it as reality and change whatever needs to be changed so that the facts that I don’t like can change.

2) do i respect this person?

The book of Proverbs tells us “faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Proverbs 27:6)

If I respect a person who is “insulting” me, then I should seek to learn from what they are saying, not be offended by it. Therefore it is not an insult. It is an opportunity for growth.

If I do not respect this person, then I have no reason to take offense. I wouldn’t take offense to a barking dog or a crying child, so I need not take offense to the words of those that I do not respect.

3) what is my response?

What are the options presented to you when you feel insulted?

anger?

To respond in anger is to reward the insult.

returning the insult?

To return the insult is to bring the insulter up to your level and bring yourself down to theirs.

equanimity

The goal must be to be indifferent and untroubled by the insult. Offense only exists in my response to an insult. I control my responses to everything that happens to me. If I choose to let an insult provoke a response, I have given that insult control of me.

We will always deal with insulting people. It is unreasonable to expect an ill-mannered person to be anything other than what they are. If I take offense at ill-mannered people, I only have myself to blame.