2Tim1.7_pt3_baby don't hurt me
This is part three in a four part series on the biblical philosophy of 2 Timothy 1:7
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pt2_power
Let’s start again with the verse.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” // 2 Timothy 1:7
We’ve established the importance of having a good philosophy that leads us to a good life. Let’s talk about the importance of love today.
There’s not much that has been discussed more about the message and life of Jesus than the concept of the Great Commandment. The rule that we should live by that says “…You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27)
In the book of Matthew, Jesus says that our ability to follow any rule that exists is dependent on our ability to follow the Great Commandment.
But what does it mean to love God? Or love a person? There are a lot of cultural definitions of love that we can get mixed up with.
A brand new understanding of love
Because of our modern western understanding of Jesus, it can be easy to miss the significance of what he said for the culture he lived in. This was the first time that loving a person - even your enemies - as yourself had been encouraged in the history of western philosophy.
All the teachers and philosophers before Jesus had spoken on the concept of love. None had ever gone as far. Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, or anyone else you can name had not taken love to the extent that Jesus had.
None of them would say anything close to what Jesus said in Luke 6:27-36
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return.
“Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
Jesus introduces a version of love the world had never heard of. What wise man had ever encouraged compassion for neighbors - and even enemies - to this extent? So Jesus introduces us to a new form of love. And a new word for love.
what is love?
The greeks had a few different words for love.
Eros // ἔρως
Intimate love. A lot of people believe that this is about sex. And it is. But that’s not all eros is. Eros represents an appreciation for what is beautiful to our physical senses.
Philia // φιλία
The love of a friend. Aristotle mostly developed this concept of love for our “brothers and sisters.” It is love that is loyal, friendly and enjoyable.
Storge // στοργή
Affection of parents and children. This is common and natural care and empathy like parents have for children. It is really only used to describe family relationships in the ancient world.
Finally, the Christians (and Jesus) actually invented a new word for love.
agape // ἀγάπη // agápē
Some people will tell you that this is a word that comes from ancient greek culture and language. And it does. Ancient Christian greek culture and language. This word is a word that Jesus and his followers adopted to describe the kind of love they wished to have.
This is the kind of love that Paul is speaking about in 2 Timothy. When God gives us a spirit of love, he gives us the ability to practice agape love.
In Mere Chritianity, CS Lewis describes agape love as “selfless love that is passionately committed to the well-being of others.”
The simplest definition for agape we can arrive at, is - love as a character trait. If you know God, then you know his love. That’s what 1 John 4 says. Experiencing this kind of love is the only way we can truly understand it. You may have seen the video of Riaan Swiegelaar, a Satanist Church founder experiencing this for himself recently.
Agape love is a love you encounter. Its why we need to have the “spirit” of love, because one hug from a person who had it changed Riaan’s life.
You could tell me stories of how this kind of love changed your life or your friend’s life. I could too. This is the kind of love God wants us to experience and help others experience.
If agape love is an experience, then that means it is rooted in action. Agape love is not a feeling we feel, it’s actions we take that create experiences for others to experience God’s love. Agape love requires discipline and intentionality.
There’s a reason why Paul starts with power in 1 Timothy 2. You’ve got to know how powerful you are before you can love people like God loves them. If you don’t see yourself as powerful, then you’ll never do something as powerful as agape love.
Most of the time, love is easiest for people we don’t know that well. Or people that we know well that we like. It’s easy to love your best friend, your child (most days), an orphan, homeless person, or starving person across the world. All of those people need love from us, but that’s not agape love.
It’s harder to have agape love. Because agape requires that you be loving towards everyone. Including people who have wronged you, divorced you, abused you, or become your enemy in some other way. The way to see if you have agape love is to ask yourself how well you love them.
How well do you love the people you feel like hating?
Most of us will love when we feel like loving someone. We will be powerful when we feel like being powerful. We will have discipline when we feel like having discipline. That’s why we will have fear and cowardice when we feel afraid.
No matter how emotionally stoic and walled off you think you are, there’s always people you don’t feel like loving. What are you going to do with those people?
When I was growing up, my dad taught me the secret of controlling my emotions. Acting first.
"Act your way into a feeling, don't feel your way into an action." // Keith Craft
Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him.
Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that your're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing.
When she didn't return, Crane called her at home. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him."
Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion.
When you act, you discover feelings that you didn’t know you can feel. That’s 2 Timothy 1:7 love.